Month: October 2016

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Think With Your Head, not With Your Heart

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When in a relationship, women often lead with their heart, not with their head.  They may know someone isn’t right for them, but if they like him, they will let their heart override their head.  On the other hand, men usually think with their big or little head, but not with their heart.

A woman’s intuition will often alert her to red flags in a relationship.  She may ignore her intuition and in the end, she’ll realize her uneasy feelings about a man were warranted.  Women who are smart in all aspects of their lives;  their career, their finances, etc., will still tend to make foolish choices when it comes to affairs of the heart.  Women will put on blinders or may think they can change a man to be who they want him to be.  This rarely works.  With men, what you see, is usually what you get.

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No More Ms. Nice Girl

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Being too nice doesn’t have to a bad thing, if you choose a good man to get involved with that will value you.  Many times women go for the bad boy type, the player with swag or a man who refuses to let himself get emotionally attached to any woman.

A woman’s love is often taken for granted if she is too nice to a man.  The nice girl will tend put her man first and will sacrifice her own happiness to please her man.   If a woman allows a man to treat her badly and continue to hang around, then she’s showing him that she lacks self-respect, so how can she expect for him to respect her.  The fear of losing the man is the main reason some woman will stay.  A man will see her as having low self-esteem, needy or perhaps desperate to have a man.

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Finding “Mr. Right”

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In search of the right man, a woman has to go through the wrong men in order for her to discover what she doesn’t want in a man, and for her to be able to appreciate a good man when she gets one.  Mr. Right may not be tall, dark and handsome, successful or charming.  He may be some of the men women tend to overlook.  He may be considered nerdy or be just an average Joe, but he may be loyal, respectful, hardworking and a gentleman.  A key quality a man should possess in order to give him a second look, would be a man who has “Potential”.  He may not be well-established in his career, but he may be moving in the right direction and determined to succeed.  His ambition and drive and the support of a good woman will help him to reach his goals.  I think Mr. Right should mainly be a good man, also someone you have chemistry, compatibility and similar interests with.

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Tips on How to Become a Man Magnet

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Men are initially attracted to a woman they have an instant sexual attraction to.  Women who are confident, attractive and has the body type they like.  A woman’s physical attributes are what immediately attracts a man to a woman.  He will undress her in his mind.

Men also desire women who are feminine and girly;  showing their legs, wearing heels, perfume, being fashionable and some prefer a long, shiny head of hair.  Appearing to be happy, smiling and having a great personality will attract men.  Having poise and self-esteem are shown through your body language, your walk and in your conversation.

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Love Him, but Love Yourself More

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Having confidence and self-esteem go hand-in-hand with loving yourself.  Self-love is necessary in order for a person to feel they deserve to be loved, and to put themselves first, before others.  When a woman loves a man more than she loves herself, she will sacrifice her wants and needs for his to please her man.

Confidence and self-love are attractive qualities in a mate. I think it may be hard for someone to truly love a person who doesn’t love themself.  It’s ironic though, that not loving yourself doesn’t prevent a person from being able to love someone else.  The problem is when you love someone more than you love yourself, they’ll probably love you less and may take your love for granted.

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Signs There’s Trouble in Paradise

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Whether it’s the man or the woman, communication is the first thing to go downhill in a relationship that’s in trouble.  Intimacy is often affected as well.  The lack of interest in lovemaking is a sure sign that there’s trouble in paradise.  Sex may become routine, but no longer passionate or romantic.  If the couple isn’t married or living together, one of them will start to spend less time with the other.  A man will detach himself emotionally as well as physically when he wants out of the relationship.

A man will no longer have concern about your feelings or your interests.  He will alter his regular routine with you.  The things he used to do with you, or for you, he will no longer do.  Men will try to put space between the two of you, when he’s contemplating ending the relationship.  Men don’t like talking about how they feel so they’ll usually remain distant.  Most men will give obvious signals that he is losing his feeling for you.  He will hope that you get the message.

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Let Him Choose You

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When meeting a man for the first time, it’s always best to let the man choose you.  You don’t have to deal with him if you aren’t interested in him, but if a woman initiates contact with a man she will never know if she is the one he really wanted.  She may not be his flavor, but he may settle for her for now rather than have a dry spell.  A man will leave you as soon as he meets the girl of his dreams, or as soon as he sleeps with you.

Some men feel that a woman who pursues a man is aggressive and desperate.  He may also think she chases men all the time.  This type of behavior may turn a man off.  A woman shouldn’t put herself out there and risk being rejected or ignored.  This would be very humiliating to a woman and a blow to her self-esteem.   Instead women should do their part by flirting with men they are interested in.  This will give a man a green light to approach you and not have to fear being rejected.  Just know, if a man doesn’t pursue you he’s not interested in you.   Never make excuses or be in denial about a man’s intentions.  A man will always find a way to let a woman know he is interested in her.  He will approach her himself or have someone other way of relaying that message to her.  A man won’t miss out on the opportunity to meet someone he’s attracted to.

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Spot the Player, Avoid the Game

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A player is a man who uses women for his gain.  He has no emotional attachment to them.   These are some of the characteristics to look for to determine if the man you are dating is a player:

You never have his undivided attention when you are in his company.  He’s always searching for the next score.  Players are bold, they may flirt with other women in front of you.  His cellphone gets more attention from him than you do.  He’s constantly checking his phone for text messages or emails from other women.  (He keeps his phone on vibrate).  A player often send texts as his method of contacting you, rather than taking the time to call.

The player is a smooth talker, very aggressive and very confident.  He will tell you just what we want to hear.  Dependability isn’t one of his best qualities either.  He will cancel dates at the last minute and he won’t call for days.  (He’s juggling his women).  You can’t reach him when you need him and he controls when and where you meet up.  A player is hesitant about meeting in public places.  He doesn’t want to be seen by his other women.  He won’t do PDA.   He’ll always use the excuse that he is so busy, that’s why he hasn’t called.  (Busy dating other women).

A player only talks about himself.  He isn’t interested in your life or interests.  He doesn’t want to introduce you to his family and friends and doesn’t want to meet yours.  If he does, he won’t introduce you as his girlfriend.  He talks about sex frequently.   The player will try to get you in bed on the first date.  He will push you to go out for drinks and will try to get you wasted.   He’s always looking for a quick lay.  His game is to “hit it and quit it.”

Players are very popular on social media sites.  They won’t post any photos with you on their social media accounts.  They usually have a lot of female friends;  friends with benefits and booty calls.  A guy who is a player will never talk about the future with you.

Even if the player has mastered “the game,” if he is as remarkable as he seems, he wouldn’t still be single.  Anyone who seems too good to be true, probably isn’t.

 

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What Do You Bring to the Table?

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In a job interview, the prospective employer is trying to find out what skills you have that would make you an asset to their company.  (what you bring to the table).   It’s the same principle in a relationship, only it’s more about financial means.

There used to be a time when only women would ask a man what he has to bring to the table;  if he has a job, what his profession is, how much money he makes, etc.  Nowadays, men ask women the same questions.  Everyone wants to know the other person has something to bring to the table to enhance their lifestyle.  It could financially or emotionally.  Most men are no longer willing to carry any dead weight.  Example:  a woman who has three children by another man, and no job.  A  man may feel she doesn’t have anything to contribute.

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