Soul Mate

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It Takes More Than Great Sex to Keep it Together

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A relationship where sex is the glue holding it together, won’t last.  You’re in bed only a minimal amount of time in a day.  If you can’t get along outside of the bedroom, then there’s not enough compatibility between the couple to sustain the relationship.

Intimacy is very important in a relationship because it bonds and connects the couple, but respect, communication, compatibility and compromise are also needed to hold it together.  A passionless relationship won’t be fulfilling when there isn’t any physical attraction or sexual chemistry.

When sexual compatibility is all you have in a relationship, the passion will fade in time and if you don’t have anything else in common, you will drift apart.  Being friends as well as being lovers may be enough for the relationship to last despite the lack of sexual chemistry.

Sex is the most important thing to most men.  Usually a man’s main focus is on sex, while a woman’s main focus is on love.  When the sex is great and the compatibility is there, generally that can be the recipe for a happy, healthy and lasting relationship.

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Men Show Love By Their Actions

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A man may not always tell you that he loves you, but his actions will show his true feelings.  Men are taught as boys to hide their feelings and emotions.  They have learned how to do that very well.  Men communicate differently than women do.  Some men won’t open up and share everything that’s on their minds or what they are feeling.  You will know how he feels about you by the way he provides and protects you.  He will do things for you without you asking him to.  A man in love will come to the rescue of the one he loves and will help out or handle a situation that he know is bothering you.

When a man chooses to spend quality time with you, instead of hanging out with the fellas, he’s showing you that he cherishes being in your company as often as he can.   A man in love will go out of his way to please the woman he’s in love with.  If he does things for you, that he hasn’t done for any other woman, you’ll know just how much you mean to him.  Other people will notice his love for you way before you do.

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Love at First Sight, Really

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When couples first meet they may like each other, have sexual chemistry and physical attraction.  This is not love at first sight.  It’s simply infatuation or sometimes lust.

When a man says it was love at first sight, he means he loves what he sees at the moment.  It’s physical and sexual attraction and chemistry, but not necessarily love.  It may or may not last once a man gets to know you.  He may not like what’s on the inside;  your personality, behavior, morals and values, etc.

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Finding “Mr. Right”

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In search of the right man, a woman has to go through the wrong men in order for her to discover what she doesn’t want in a man, and for her to be able to appreciate a good man when she gets one.  Mr. Right may not be tall, dark and handsome, successful or charming.  He may be some of the men women tend to overlook.  He may be considered nerdy or be just an average Joe, but he may be loyal, respectful, hardworking and a gentleman.  A key quality a man should possess in order to give him a second look, would be a man who has “Potential”.  He may not be well-established in his career, but he may be moving in the right direction and determined to succeed.  His ambition and drive and the support of a good woman will help him to reach his goals.  I think Mr. Right should mainly be a good man, also someone you have chemistry, compatibility and similar interests with.

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Let Him Choose You

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When meeting a man for the first time, it’s always best to let the man choose you.  You don’t have to deal with him if you aren’t interested in him, but if a woman initiates contact with a man she will never know if she is the one he really wanted.  She may not be his flavor, but he may settle for her for now rather than have a dry spell.  A man will leave you as soon as he meets the girl of his dreams, or as soon as he sleeps with you.

Some men feel that a woman who pursues a man is aggressive and desperate.  He may also think she chases men all the time.  This type of behavior may turn a man off.  A woman shouldn’t put herself out there and risk being rejected or ignored.  This would be very humiliating to a woman and a blow to her self-esteem.   Instead women should do their part by flirting with men they are interested in.  This will give a man a green light to approach you and not have to fear being rejected.  Just know, if a man doesn’t pursue you he’s not interested in you.   Never make excuses or be in denial about a man’s intentions.  A man will always find a way to let a woman know he is interested in her.  He will approach her himself or have someone other way of relaying that message to her.  A man won’t miss out on the opportunity to meet someone he’s attracted to.

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What Do You Bring to the Table?

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In a job interview, the prospective employer is trying to find out what skills you have that would make you an asset to their company.  (what you bring to the table).   It’s the same principle in a relationship, only it’s more about financial means.

There used to be a time when only women would ask a man what he has to bring to the table;  if he has a job, what his profession is, how much money he makes, etc.  Nowadays, men ask women the same questions.  Everyone wants to know the other person has something to bring to the table to enhance their lifestyle.  It could financially or emotionally.  Most men are no longer willing to carry any dead weight.  Example:  a woman who has three children by another man, and no job.  A  man may feel she doesn’t have anything to contribute.

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There’s No Such Thing As a Perfect Man

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It’s in every little girls makeup to dream of landing a “Prince Charming” as in Cinderella.  Cinderella is fiction.  The perfect man is just a fantasy.  He doesn’t exist in reality.  If a man loves you unconditionally, then one might say his love is perfect.  A man who meets most of your needs could be considered an ideal man for you.  It would be more realistic to look for a “good man” instead of a perfect man.  It’s nearly impossible to find all the qualities a woman may wish for in a man, all in one package.  Compromise may be needed, but not necessarily saying you have to settle.  Looking beyond the physical and material things could enable a woman to find a good man.  What’s on the inside of a man is what is most important.  Having respect, integrity, honesty, loyalty and kindness are all qualities of a good man.

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Foreplay = The “Big O”

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Foreplay starts long before you get to the bedroom.  It can begin in the kitchen, while cooking with just grabbing her butt or his.  Whispering dirty talk to each other during the day or sexting while at work or buying her flowers are also methods of foreplay.   Getting your man or woman aroused and anticipating intimacy long before it happens, can be a good build-up to the finale.

Being romantic;  kissing, touching and even dancing can be very sensual and arousing for both the man and the woman.  Foreplay is the appetizer before the main course.  It gets all the juices flowing.  The most time should be spent on awakening the senses (arousal).  Taking the time to explore your lover’s body from head to toe will definitely pay off to reaching the “Big O”.   It’s the same principle as preheating the oven before cooking the meal.  (LOL)

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What is Love

 

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Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.  It is an emotional bond between two people.  There are many types of love.   There’s romantic love, puppy love, self-love, passionate love and unconditional love.

Romantic Love is the courtship stage.  You spend quality time together, sharing romantic moments.  It’s when you are receiving flowers for no reason, gifts like jewelry and traveling to romantic getaways with the one you love.

Puppy Love is an infatuation, or having a crush on someone.   Young children and teenagers experience puppy love.   This type of love doesn’t last.

Self-Love is the most important love of all.  If you don’t love yourself, then it is difficult for someone else to love you.  Having self-esteem and loving yourself, will ensure that you put yourself first.   Self-love is good for your overall well-being.

Passionate Love is the intense sexual attraction for another person.  It is the longing and desire for intimacy with the one you love.   Passionate love doesn’t last, but the love itself can last.

Unconditional Love is the love we have for our children.  It has no conditions, restrictions or limitations placed upon it.  Unconditional love is a lasting love.  It’s the one type of love that is endless.

True love is an attachment to another person.  You sometimes hear someone say, “He or she is the love of my life.”  They mean they love them with all their heart, body and soul.  They could be referred to as “soul mates.”  No matter how much you love someone, you can’t make them love you, if they don’t.  There are other sayings like, “Money can’t buy you love, and Love doesn’t cost a thing.”

When you love someone, you want what’s best for them.  It is an unselfish act.  You are protective of them and care about their feelings and well-being.  You want to be with the one you love, all of the time.  You think  about them constantly.  It’s like an addiction.  “Love can make you do crazy things.”

Sometimes,  you can’t control who you love.  Even when they aren’t good for you.  Especially, if you don’t have self-love or self-esteem.  Many people are in love with the wrong person, that doesn’t deserve their love and the love isn’t reciprocated.  “You can’t help who you love.”

Being in love makes us happy, euphoric, confident and optimistic.   “All you need is love.”

“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

To love and be loved in return, is the greatest feeling in the world.

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Winning at Love

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Communication is key to a loving relationship.  Talking and working out problems you encounter before they get too far out of control, and the communication between the two of you shuts down, is totally necessary in order to keep the relationship strong.

There must be mutual respect for one another.  Being respectful of the other person’s opinions and differences, and being able to agree to disagree is very important.

Trust is absolutely necessary in order to feel safe and secure when you have given your heart to someone to love and protect.

Keeping your individuality and not losing yourself in the relationship also key.  You must have interests of your own, aside from your loved one.  Making someone your whole world, will cause your loved one to feel that are needy and insecure.

Being spontaneous and unpredictable keeps excitement in the relationship.  All  relationships have a point when one or both people may begin to feel that the passion has subsided.  This can cause vulnerability and insecurity on either side.  You may feel that your man or woman doesn’t love you anymore.  This is a natural feeling.  It just means you have to work harder to bring back the sparks and try new things to keep the fires burning.  Monotony can cause boredom.

Intimacy is a major part of a loving relationship.  Love making bonds couples together keeping them close and connected to each other.  A lack of sex will ultimately cause problems in a relationship, possibly infidelity.

A man and a woman being totally committed to each other and to keeping their love strong, will lead to a successful and lasting union.  You can never take one’s love for granted. A loving relationship is something you will continuously have to work at, in order to keep it solid.