Things a Man Won’t Tell You

love - men's secrets

 

First and foremost, a man won’t tell you what is on his mind or how he feels.  He won’t share his worries, his insecurities, jealousy or anything that may be bothering him.  A man fears he will seem weak.  Men are taught as boys to be strong at all times.

Your man won’t share negative information about his friends or family with you.  Men are much better at keeping secrets than women are.  Men don’t disclose anything about themselves, in their past or present that he is embarrassed about or uncomfortable with.  Most men won’t tell you that they cheated on all their girlfriends or their ex-wife, or that he is a former alcoholic, drug user, or that he beat his last girlfriend.

Most men won’t tell you about their adverse health conditions or that they are popping the ” little blue pill”.

Some men lust after other women, maybe even one of your girlfriends.  He knows better than to share that with you.  (LOL)

Men don’t usually tell you the moment that they fall for you or why they hate to say the words, “I love you”.  It makes them feel vulnerable.

All men hate it when their woman won’t shut up, but he usually doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her.  He would rather tune her out.  A man won’t always tell his woman that he need space.  He will start pulling away from her instead.

Most men won’t tell you that he’s bored in the bedroom and wants to try something new or that he craves more sex.  He would rather get it elsewhere.

The one thing all men refuse to tell you the truth about when you ask them, is how you look in an outfit or anything regarding your appearance, whether it’s your weight, make up, hair style, etc.  They know their woman can’t handle the truth, if it’s not the answer she wants to hear from him.

On a Date, Who Should Pay?

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When you’re on a date, the person who asks for the date is generally the person who pays the check whether it’s the man or the woman.  If you want to contribute, you could offer to pay the tip.  A gentleman may pay the bill regardless, but he isn’t obligated to pay.

It’s not being considerate if you purposely pick the most expensive restaurant and order the most expensive items on the menu or order several drinks without your date asking you if you would like to order another drink.  It may backfire on you.  You may not get a second date. (LOL)  If you’ve been dating for a while and are considered to be in a relationship, then it’s normal that either of you pay for the meals on a date.

When a man asks you to go out with him, if he intents for you to pay or split the check, that conversation should always take place before you go out.  This way you can agree to or cancel the date.  I feel going “dutch” on a first date isn’t worth your time!  You’re better off going out with your girlfriends instead.  If a woman starts out paying for the dates, then she will be expected to continue to do so. On a first date, I feel it’s best to let the man select the restaurant because it will tell you something about his character (whether he’s cheap or not trying to impress you).  If a man feels that he doesn’t want to spend his money on a date with someone he may not have  chemistry and attraction with, then he should always have first dates at coffee shops or happy hours.

Tip:  Always google the restaurant in advance to have an idea of the place you are going and confirm your date the day before.  If you’re not comfortable with the place or the location, cancel the date and lose his number.  If the first date isn’t impressive, it will only go downhill from there.

 

Men Show Love By Their Actions

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A man may not always tell you that he loves you, but his actions will show his true feelings.  Men are taught as boys to hide their feelings and emotions.  They have learned how to do that very well.  Men communicate differently than women do.  Some men won’t open up and share everything that’s on their minds or what they are feeling.  You will know how he feels about you by the way he provides and protects you.  He will do things for you without you asking him to.  A man in love will come to the rescue of the one he loves and will help out or handle a situation that he know is bothering you.

When a man chooses to spend quality time with you, instead of hanging out with the fellas, he’s showing you that he cherishes being in your company as often as he can.   A man in love will go out of his way to please the woman he’s in love with.  If he does things for you, that he hasn’t done for any other woman, you’ll know just how much you mean to him.  Other people will notice his love for you way before you do.

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Ladies … Let the Man, Be the Man

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Some women today don’t allow the man to be the man.  Women will want to lead and try to take on the male role.  Men still want a woman to be feminine and lady-like,  someone he feels he needs to protect and provide for.  Men also want to feel needed by his woman.  I’m not saying women should be dependent on a man, but she shouldn’t emasculate him either, even if she makes more money than he does.  Men enjoy coming to the rescue of the damsel in distress.  They know they are physically stronger than a woman and they enjoy being needed to fix things around the house, a flat tire, opening a jar, etc.

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Spot the Player, Avoid the Game

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A player is a man who uses women for his gain.  He has no emotional attachment to them.   These are some of the characteristics to look for to determine if the man you are dating is a player:

You never have his undivided attention when you are in his company.  He’s always searching for the next score.  Players are bold, they may flirt with other women in front of you.  His cellphone gets more attention from him than you do.  He’s constantly checking his phone for text messages or emails from other women.  (He keeps his phone on vibrate).  A player often send texts as his method of contacting you, rather than taking the time to call.

The player is a smooth talker, very aggressive and very confident.  He will tell you just what we want to hear.  Dependability isn’t one of his best qualities either.  He will cancel dates at the last minute and he won’t call for days.  (He’s juggling his women).  You can’t reach him when you need him and he controls when and where you meet up.  A player is hesitant about meeting in public places.  He doesn’t want to be seen by his other women.  He won’t do PDA.   He’ll always use the excuse that he is so busy, that’s why he hasn’t called.  (Busy dating other women).

A player only talks about himself.  He isn’t interested in your life or interests.  He doesn’t want to introduce you to his family and friends and doesn’t want to meet yours.  If he does, he won’t introduce you as his girlfriend.  He talks about sex frequently.   The player will try to get you in bed on the first date.  He will push you to go out for drinks and will try to get you wasted.   He’s always looking for a quick lay.  His game is to “hit it and quit it.”

Players are very popular on social media sites.  They won’t post any photos with you on their social media accounts.  They usually have a lot of female friends;  friends with benefits and booty calls.  A guy who is a player will never talk about the future with you.

Even if the player has mastered “the game,” if he is as remarkable as he seems, he wouldn’t still be single.  Anyone who seems too good to be true, probably isn’t.

 

What Do You Bring to the Table?

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In a job interview, the prospective employer is trying to find out what skills you have that would make you an asset to their company.  (what you bring to the table).   It’s the same principle in a relationship, only it’s more about financial means.

There used to be a time when only women would ask a man what he has to bring to the table;  if he has a job, what his profession is, how much money he makes, etc.  Nowadays, men ask women the same questions.  Everyone wants to know the other person has something to bring to the table to enhance their lifestyle.  It could financially or emotionally.  Most men are no longer willing to carry any dead weight.  Example:  a woman who has three children by another man, and no job.  A  man may feel she doesn’t have anything to contribute.

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The Lies Men Tell

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In a new relationship some men will lie about their intentions, as to whether they really want to be in a monogamous relationship.  They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear.  A man will take the chance at lying in order to continue seeing a woman he’s interested in at the time, knowing at some point she may find out his real intention.  He will hope that by the time she finds out the truth, she will be hooked on him and will not want to walk away from the relationship.

Men will also lie about their relationship status.  He may have a girlfriend, a booty call or a friend with benefits that he’s holding on to.  Men tend to lie about the reasons their past relationship ended as well.  Often they’ll say their girlfriend cheated on them, when they were the one who cheated.  They will feel you will have sympathy for them and think they are a nice guy.

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There’s No Such Thing As a Perfect Man

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It’s in every little girls makeup to dream of landing a “Prince Charming” as in Cinderella.  Cinderella is fiction.  The perfect man is just a fantasy.  He doesn’t exist in reality.  If a man loves you unconditionally, then one might say his love is perfect.  A man who meets most of your needs could be considered an ideal man for you.  It would be more realistic to look for a “good man” instead of a perfect man.  It’s nearly impossible to find all the qualities a woman may wish for in a man, all in one package.  Compromise may be needed, but not necessarily saying you have to settle.  Looking beyond the physical and material things could enable a woman to find a good man.  What’s on the inside of a man is what is most important.  Having respect, integrity, honesty, loyalty and kindness are all qualities of a good man.

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Foreplay = The “Big O”

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Foreplay starts long before you get to the bedroom.  It can begin in the kitchen, while cooking with just grabbing her butt or his.  Whispering dirty talk to each other during the day or sexting while at work or buying her flowers are also methods of foreplay.   Getting your man or woman aroused and anticipating intimacy long before it happens, can be a good build-up to the finale.

Being romantic;  kissing, touching and even dancing can be very sensual and arousing for both the man and the woman.  Foreplay is the appetizer before the main course.  It gets all the juices flowing.  The most time should be spent on awakening the senses (arousal).  Taking the time to explore your lover’s body from head to toe will definitely pay off to reaching the “Big O”.   It’s the same principle as preheating the oven before cooking the meal.  (LOL)

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Leave Him in the Recycle Bin

loving a married man2

 

Sometimes when a woman isn’t in a relationship she may get lonely or want to have her “needs” met.  She may decide to recycle an old flame to fill the void.   She may use him just for sex.  Most men will accept the offer.  They won’t let on, but they may feel you are desperate or that you are not over him.  There was a reason why you broke up with him in the first place.  The fear of someone new or the unknown, may cause a woman to go back to whom she is familiar, even though it is not who is best for her.  Deep down women know the relationship isn’t going to be long-term, but she will deal with it for now until  someone else comes along.  She will see it as a safe option, since it will be someone she knows instead of a stranger.

Women have the tendency to look back on what could have been.  She may want to forget the bad things and choose to hold on to the good times.  Her past lover may have been great in bed, but that’s probably where it ends.   Often times comparing lovers can cause a woman to long for an ex, even if it’s just sexually.

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