Month: April 2017

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Women Shouldn’t Lead With Their Curves, If They Want to be Taken Seriously

love - sex women3

 

When a woman first meet a man if she flaunts her sex appeal by dressing too provocative or revealing, a man will see her as an easy score.  Men place women in categories almost immediately.  A man may think of her as loose and only as a booty call or a friend with benefits.  She won’t be taken seriously by him.  She definitely won’t be the one he’ll take home to meet his mother or someone he will see himself in a serious relationship with.

Most men still judge women just as harshly as they did years ago.  A woman’s appearance,  body language and the way she carries herself can cause her to be labeled in a negative way.

Tasteful flirting in a lady-like manner, is as assertive as a woman she be in initiating contact with a man.  Being too aggressive with a stranger could be risky behavior.  Some men believe an aggressive woman will come on to any man that she is attracted to.  He won’t think she only approached him because he’s special.  Just like when a woman sleeps with a man too soon, he feels she does this with every man she meets, which may not always be the case.

When a man gets a woman in bed too quickly, and he hasn’t had the time to get to know her, there’s no other reason for him to come back, but for more sex.  He doesn’t feel the need to get to know YOU at this point.  Remember, every man’s goal is to “hit it”.

First impressions are lasting impressions, so don’t ruin your chances of being taken seriously by behaving in a way that you will be thought of only as a “good-time girl.”

 

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On a Date, Who Should Pay?

love - who pays on a date

 

When you’re on a date, the person who asks for the date is generally the person who pays the check whether it’s the man or the woman.  If you want to contribute, you could offer to pay the tip.  A gentleman may pay the bill regardless, but he isn’t obligated to pay.

It’s not being considerate if you purposely pick the most expensive restaurant and order the most expensive items on the menu or order several drinks without your date asking you if you would like to order another drink.  It may backfire on you.  You may not get a second date. (LOL)  If you’ve been dating for a while and are considered to be in a relationship, then it’s normal that either of you pay for the meals on a date.

When a man asks you to go out with him, if he intents for you to pay or split the check, that conversation should always take place before you go out.  This way you can agree to or cancel the date.  I feel going “dutch” on a first date isn’t worth your time!  You’re better off going out with your girlfriends instead.  If a woman starts out paying for the dates, then she will be expected to continue to do so. On a first date, I feel it’s best to let the man select the restaurant because it will tell you something about his character (whether he’s cheap or not trying to impress you).  If a man feels that he doesn’t want to spend his money on a date with someone he may not have  chemistry and attraction with, then he should always have first dates at coffee shops or happy hours.

Tip:  Always google the restaurant in advance to have an idea of the place you are going and confirm your date the day before.  If you’re not comfortable with the place or the location, cancel the date and lose his number.  If the first date isn’t impressive, it will only go downhill from there.

 

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A Ring is Just a Symbol, Until You Say “I Do”

Love - Engagement Ring

 

If you have been in a relationship for several years and have been constantly pressuring your man to “put a ring on it”, he may finally give you a ring just to shut you up.   Your fiancé may want a three or more year engagement and won’t want to set a wedding date.  An open engagement is typically requested by a man who has no intention of getting married (or getting married to you).  The ring may only be a stall tactic to keep stringing you along and to appease you or to get you off his back.  Two years is sufficient time to be engaged and to plan a wedding.

The best way to avoid getting a “shut up ring”, is not to live together for years, not to have the baby before the marriage and after two years of dating, if your man isn’t talking about a future with you, you should bring up the topic and be prepared to make some serious decisions as to how much longer you are willing to stay in the relationship without knowing whether or not there’s a future with him.

A “shut up engagement ring” that a man asks you to give back to him is more embarrassing and humiliating than never receiving a ring at all.  I feel if you are given a ring under false pretenses, you should not give it back if your fiancé calls off the engagement.  You deserve to keep the ring as retribution for the pain and suffering he has caused you.

A woman’s time is precious, don’t waste years with someone you have to pressure to marry you.  Many women fall into this trap because they feel they have invested so many years of their lives with their man and they are willing to hang in there, year after year, hoping one day that he will want to marry her.  It doesn’t take a man years to figure out that he wants to marry a woman.  Sometimes a man will hold on to a woman until he meets the one that he wants to marry and settle down with.   Some men have been known to do this and will marry that woman within a year.

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Girl Code: Why We Need One

Women should be kinder to one another.  Unlike men, who will nod or speak to each other when their eyes meet, women will often hate on another woman by eyeing her from head-to-toe, but without a smile or a hello.

Body shaming another woman is something we should never do.  Society already places unrealistic standards on how women should look.  We come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone isn’t going to look like a supermodel.

Girlfriends’ exes should certainly be off-limits.  That includes ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands and even her crushes.  Cat fights between a woman over a man is definitely foolish.  No man is worth getting not even a strand of your hair pulled out.  There are too many men available to fight over one.

Girlfriends should always have your back when you’re out partying. They should always watch your drink at the bar.   A real girlfriend would never let her friend drive home when she’s been drinking too much.  It’s better to get an Uber than a D.U.I.

When girlfriends have a fallout, they still shouldn’t spill the tea, or tell her secrets on social media.   You should value your friendship and avoid posting negative comments (shade) about someone who you use to call a friend.

Girlfriends should be happy for each other if one of them finds the man of her dreams, regardless of whether she’s still looking for Mr. Right.   Some women are known to abandon their girlfriends when they meet a new man.   We have to remember men will come and go, but your girlfriends will always be there for you when the relationship ends to help you get your slay on.

Whatever happened to “Girl Power?”  Women should want to empower one another.  That’s why I think we need to follow a Girl Code.