Romance

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Why The Thrill of the Chase is So Exciting

Thrill of the Chase

 

Most men find the thrill of the chase very exciting and an adrenaline rush.  Men generally welcome a challenge.  They are strategic thinkers and love to hunt and conquer.  A man usually gets bored much quicker than a woman does, therefore they tend to find anything “new” exciting.  Having to put in the work to win a woman’s heart wouldn’t be a deal breaker for most men.   A man will chance rejection if that turns out to be the outcome.  It’s exciting for a man to pursue the woman of his dreams, even if he feels she is playing hard to get.  Some men will do whatever it takes to reel her in as long as he knows he has a chance.  (It’s like a chess match)

Men place more value on a woman he had to work hard to get.  He probably won’t take her for granted either.  Sometimes it’s a game or a sport to a man.   He may bet his friends that he will get her number.  The thrill of the chase is also about a man’s ego.  Some men will pursue an elusive woman who seems unobtainable, just for the challenge or competition.  To land her would be a great score, after all he succeeded where other men failed.  It would be like hitting the jackpot and taking home the prize!

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Keep Lust Alive in Your Relationship

lust 2

 

The sparks can fizzle out over time, but it doesn’t have to.  You must do your part in keeping your man desiring you.  Continue to be the sexy lady he fell in love with in the first place.

Foreplay should start throughout the day and lovemaking shouldn’t only take place in the bedroom.  Flirting, sexting and talking dirty can also get you aroused.  Date night and vacations without the children are a must to keep the lust alive in a relationship.  Wearing lingerie to bed and role play can also contribute to an exciting sex life.  You have to constantly find new adventurous ways to keep the passionate feeling.  It’s easy to get bored when romance becomes monotonous.  Be spontaneous and unpredictable at all times.  Try a couples spa day, wine and painting events or a picnic in a scenic park or by the water.  (Don’t forget the wine and cheese!)

Couples should have open non-judgmental communication.  They should talk about their sexual needs, different positions to try and share their fantasies and desires.  Let them know if you desire sex more frequently or if you would like to experiment with new ways to please one another.

Don’t get complacent in your relationship.  The sparks will continue to burn by  exploring different methods to enhance the excitement and keep lust alive.

 

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Don’t Be His “Beck and Call” Girl

Beck and Call Girl

 

Being too available for a man is a big mistake that many women make early on in their relationship.  It can lead to being taken for granted and you may become his back-up plan.  Some men will see a woman who waits for his call and is always available as being needy or desperate.  It’s not an attractive trait to a man.  It’s best not to always respond immediately to his text messages or phone calls.  You may appear to be waiting with the phone in your lap.

Having your own friends and interests and having an active life aside from a man will make you more interesting, less predictable and will keep his attention.  Don’t put your plans with friends on hold, hoping to hear from a man.  Never cancel your plans for a man who calls at the last-minute.  Pretend to be busy, even if you aren’t. (LOL)  It’s best to let a man know he has to confirm plans with you in advance, or you may not be available.  After all, you do have a life!   

 

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Ask Yourself, Does He Have “Potential”?

 

Every once in a while you meet a man whom you are physically attracted to and instantly connect with, but he doesn’t quite meet all of your criteria.  Instead of dismissing him stop and ask yourself, does he have potential?

Some men need a strong woman to support and encourage them. He may be the laid back type and appear to be less ambitious, but he may need a push.

You’ve heard the saying, “Behind every great man is a strong woman.” It may take some men longer to mature or to settle on a career path, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get his act together, if that’s what he has to do to be with a woman who places that expectation upon him.

As long as the pros, out-weigh the cons and there’s chemistry and compatibility the rest can fall into place. There’s not a perfect man or woman out there, but there may be one that is perfect for you if you give it a chance to develop into its full potential.

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Keep Yourself Market Ready

Love - Keep Yourself Market Ready2

 

Whether a woman is single, in a relationship or a marriage, she should always keep herself up (her hair, body, fashion, make up).   Her man will continue to see his bae as the sexy woman he fell in love with.  He will also notice other men are eyeing her too.

There is nothing worse than breaking up and having to work so hard at losing weight, getting your sexy back and building your confidence again in order to get yourself back on the dating scene.

Women who slay can rebound much faster and their confidence remains intact after a breakup.  Keeping yourself put together at all times is attractive to men.  They see a woman who is confident and loves herself.  Putting your man and your children first and neglecting yourself, is a sure way to get your man to lose interest and desire for you.  Women who get stuck into the wifey and baby mama or superwoman mode, may inadvertently cause their men to stray.  These women are often taken for granted and are no longer being romanced by their men.

When you keep yourself market ready, your man will want to do date night to take you out and show you off.  What man doesn’t desire some good arm candy?  She keeps his lust for her alive.  Every woman should want to be the best version of herself.  It’s easier to keep up the glam when she is doing it for herself, and not just for a man.

 

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Women Shouldn’t Lead With Their Curves, If They Want to be Taken Seriously

love - sex women3

 

When a woman first meet a man if she flaunts her sex appeal by dressing too provocative or revealing, a man will see her as an easy score.  Men place women in categories almost immediately.  A man may think of her as loose and only as a booty call or a friend with benefits.  She won’t be taken seriously by him.  She definitely won’t be the one he’ll take home to meet his mother or someone he will see himself in a serious relationship with.

Most men still judge women just as harshly as they did years ago.  A woman’s appearance,  body language and the way she carries herself can cause her to be labeled in a negative way.

Tasteful flirting in a lady-like manner, is as assertive as a woman she be in initiating contact with a man.  Being too aggressive with a stranger could be risky behavior.  Some men believe an aggressive woman will come on to any man that she is attracted to.  He won’t think she only approached him because he’s special.  Just like when a woman sleeps with a man too soon, he feels she does this with every man she meets, which may not always be the case.

When a man gets a woman in bed too quickly, and he hasn’t had the time to get to know her, there’s no other reason for him to come back, but for more sex.  He doesn’t feel the need to get to know YOU at this point.  Remember, every man’s goal is to “hit it”.

First impressions are lasting impressions, so don’t ruin your chances of being taken seriously by behaving in a way that you will be thought of only as a “good-time girl.”

 

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On a Date, Who Should Pay?

love - who pays on a date

 

When you’re on a date, the person who asks for the date is generally the person who pays the check whether it’s the man or the woman.  If you want to contribute, you could offer to pay the tip.  A gentleman may pay the bill regardless, but he isn’t obligated to pay.

It’s not being considerate if you purposely pick the most expensive restaurant and order the most expensive items on the menu or order several drinks without your date asking you if you would like to order another drink.  It may backfire on you.  You may not get a second date. (LOL)  If you’ve been dating for a while and are considered to be in a relationship, then it’s normal that either of you pay for the meals on a date.

When a man asks you to go out with him, if he intents for you to pay or split the check, that conversation should always take place before you go out.  This way you can agree to or cancel the date.  I feel going “dutch” on a first date isn’t worth your time!  You’re better off going out with your girlfriends instead.  If a woman starts out paying for the dates, then she will be expected to continue to do so. On a first date, I feel it’s best to let the man select the restaurant because it will tell you something about his character (whether he’s cheap or not trying to impress you).  If a man feels that he doesn’t want to spend his money on a date with someone he may not have  chemistry and attraction with, then he should always have first dates at coffee shops or happy hours.

Tip:  Always google the restaurant in advance to have an idea of the place you are going and confirm your date the day before.  If you’re not comfortable with the place or the location, cancel the date and lose his number.  If the first date isn’t impressive, it will only go downhill from there.

 

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A Ring is Just a Symbol, Until You Say “I Do”

Love - Engagement Ring

 

If you have been in a relationship for several years and have been constantly pressuring your man to “put a ring on it”, he may finally give you a ring just to shut you up.   Your fiancé may want a three or more year engagement and won’t want to set a wedding date.  An open engagement is typically requested by a man who has no intention of getting married (or getting married to you).  The ring may only be a stall tactic to keep stringing you along and to appease you or to get you off his back.  Two years is sufficient time to be engaged and to plan a wedding.

The best way to avoid getting a “shut up ring”, is not to live together for years, not to have the baby before the marriage and after two years of dating, if your man isn’t talking about a future with you, you should bring up the topic and be prepared to make some serious decisions as to how much longer you are willing to stay in the relationship without knowing whether or not there’s a future with him.

A “shut up engagement ring” that a man asks you to give back to him is more embarrassing and humiliating than never receiving a ring at all.  I feel if you are given a ring under false pretenses, you should not give it back if your fiancé calls off the engagement.  You deserve to keep the ring as retribution for the pain and suffering he has caused you.

A woman’s time is precious, don’t waste years with someone you have to pressure to marry you.  Many women fall into this trap because they feel they have invested so many years of their lives with their man and they are willing to hang in there, year after year, hoping one day that he will want to marry her.  It doesn’t take a man years to figure out that he wants to marry a woman.  Sometimes a man will hold on to a woman until he meets the one that he wants to marry and settle down with.   Some men have been known to do this and will marry that woman within a year.

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Girl Code: Why We Need One

Women should be kinder to one another.  Unlike men, who will nod or speak to each other when their eyes meet, women will often hate on another woman by eyeing her from head-to-toe, but without a smile or a hello.

Body shaming another woman is something we should never do.  Society already places unrealistic standards on how women should look.  We come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone isn’t going to look like a supermodel.

Girlfriends’ exes should certainly be off-limits.  That includes ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands and even her crushes.  Cat fights between a woman over a man is definitely foolish.  No man is worth getting not even a strand of your hair pulled out.  There are too many men available to fight over one.

Girlfriends should always have your back when you’re out partying. They should always watch your drink at the bar.   A real girlfriend would never let her friend drive home when she’s been drinking too much.  It’s better to get an Uber than a D.U.I.

When girlfriends have a fallout, they still shouldn’t spill the tea, or tell her secrets on social media.   You should value your friendship and avoid posting negative comments (shade) about someone who you use to call a friend.

Girlfriends should be happy for each other if one of them finds the man of her dreams, regardless of whether she’s still looking for Mr. Right.   Some women are known to abandon their girlfriends when they meet a new man.   We have to remember men will come and go, but your girlfriends will always be there for you when the relationship ends to help you get your slay on.

Whatever happened to “Girl Power?”  Women should want to empower one another.  That’s why I think we need to follow a Girl Code.

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Break Up, Just to Make Up

When you’re in a relationship and you develop a pattern of breaking up just to get back together again, after a while you won’t be taken seriously.  It’s like using a break up as a tool to get what you want.  Have you ever heard the saying “The boy who cried wolf?”  That’s what constantly breaking up and then making up is like.  This tactic won’t continue to work after two or three times.  It’s like you’re bluffing to get his attention.

If you have compatibility issues, then you may have to move on because you can’t make someone be the person you want them to be, unless they truly want to change.  If you are spoiled and always want to have your way, you should learn to compromise and develop better communication skills as it could be key to resolving many problems in the relationship.

Relationships aren’t always easy.  You have two individual personalities and attitudes to deal with.  There will have to be some give and take on both sides.  If your love is strong enough the relationship will survive.  When you are in a relationship that is worth saving, you should try to stay together and figure things out.  A relationship with constant ups and downs, like a roller coaster ride, could be a sign that you’re in a toxic relationship.  Hopefully, that’s not the case.

Sometimes it takes a break up for couples to miss one another and realize how much they really care.   Besides, it could be sweeter the second time around.