Month: September 2016

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The Lies Men Tell

love-finding-mr-right

 

In a new relationship some men will lie about their intentions, as to whether they really want to be in a monogamous relationship.  They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear.  A man will take the chance at lying in order to continue seeing a woman he’s interested in at the time, knowing at some point she may find out his real intention.  He will hope that by the time she finds out the truth, she will be hooked on him and will not want to walk away from the relationship.

Men will also lie about their relationship status.  He may have a girlfriend, a booty call or a friend with benefits that he’s holding on to.  Men tend to lie about the reasons their past relationship ended as well.  Often they’ll say their girlfriend cheated on them, when they were the one who cheated.  They will feel you will have sympathy for them and think they are a nice guy.

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There’s No Such Thing As a Perfect Man

love-not-perfect

 

It’s in every little girls makeup to dream of landing a “Prince Charming” as in Cinderella.  Cinderella is fiction.  The perfect man is just a fantasy.  He doesn’t exist in reality.  If a man loves you unconditionally, then one might say his love is perfect.  A man who meets most of your needs could be considered an ideal man for you.  It would be more realistic to look for a “good man” instead of a perfect man.  It’s nearly impossible to find all the qualities a woman may wish for in a man, all in one package.  Compromise may be needed, but not necessarily saying you have to settle.  Looking beyond the physical and material things could enable a woman to find a good man.  What’s on the inside of a man is what is most important.  Having respect, integrity, honesty, loyalty and kindness are all qualities of a good man.

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Leave Your Baggage Behind

love-isnt-supposed-to-hurt

 

Just about everyone has some emotional baggage, but too much can ruin any relationship.  People sometimes sabotage their new relationships because of the baggage they carry with them into the new relationship.  If you had prior trust or jealousy issues stemming from an ex boyfriend who cheated on you, or have abandonment issues from your childhood or any other past hurts, you must try to overcome your emotional insecurities so they don’t continue to follow you into future relationships.  It’s not fair to a new love to have to suffer through your insecurities, that they didn’t cause.

It’s best to take time for yourself after a breakup and not rush into a rebound relationship.  You need that time to heal and lose your baggage from past painful events.  You need to be emotionally healthy in order to give a new relationship a chance at working.  It’s not fair for someone else to have to pay for the emotional scars from your past.  The types of emotional baggage that can threaten a relationship are from; childhood trauma from dysfunctional parents or neglect or abuse, or from past lovers, especially if you aren’t emotionally detached from them.  These types of baggage can affect a new relationship in a very negative way.

Perhaps the solution is to learn how to effectively manage your baggage in a healthy way, or better yet, if you are able to lose it all together.  If all else fails, try to limit the amount of baggage that you carry around.  I’m not a therapist, but maybe being able to forgive, would also help a person to let go.  You must try to bury past hurts in order to move forward to a positive outcome in the future.

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Foreplay = The “Big O”

love-making-love

 

 

Foreplay starts long before you get to the bedroom.  It can begin in the kitchen, while cooking with just grabbing her butt or his.  Whispering dirty talk to each other during the day or sexting while at work or buying her flowers are also methods of foreplay.   Getting your man or woman aroused and anticipating intimacy long before it happens, can be a good build-up to the finale.

Being romantic;  kissing, touching and even dancing can be very sensual and arousing for both the man and the woman.  Foreplay is the appetizer before the main course.  It gets all the juices flowing.  The most time should be spent on awakening the senses (arousal).  Taking the time to explore your lover’s body from head to toe will definitely pay off to reaching the “Big O”.   It’s the same principle as preheating the oven before cooking the meal.  (LOL)

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Leave Him in the Recycle Bin

loving a married man2

 

Sometimes when a woman isn’t in a relationship she may get lonely or want to have her “needs” met.  She may decide to recycle an old flame to fill the void.   She may use him just for sex.  Most men will accept the offer.  They won’t let on, but they may feel you are desperate or that you are not over him.  There was a reason why you broke up with him in the first place.  The fear of someone new or the unknown, may cause a woman to go back to whom she is familiar, even though it is not who is best for her.  Deep down women know the relationship isn’t going to be long-term, but she will deal with it for now until  someone else comes along.  She will see it as a safe option, since it will be someone she knows instead of a stranger.

Women have the tendency to look back on what could have been.  She may want to forget the bad things and choose to hold on to the good times.  Her past lover may have been great in bed, but that’s probably where it ends.   Often times comparing lovers can cause a woman to long for an ex, even if it’s just sexually.

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Why More Women Are Attracted to the Same Sex

 

love-female-power

 

There is an increase in the number of women who are bisexual and lesbian, mainly bisexuality.  Women naturally have a more close and intimate relationship with each other, than men do with other men.  Women will share a bed, undress in front of each other and caress their girlfriends body without any sexual connotation.  Women do tend to find other women attractive.  They can appreciate another woman’s beauty and body.   This could lead to fantasizing about the same sex.

As teens or while in college, sometimes young women will experiment with sex with a woman.  They are curious and are exploring their sexuality.  Be careful what you try, you just may like it!  (LOL)

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What is Love

 

love-teddy-bear-holding-heart

 

Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.  It is an emotional bond between two people.  There are many types of love.   There’s romantic love, puppy love, self-love, passionate love and unconditional love.

Romantic Love is the courtship stage.  You spend quality time together, sharing romantic moments.  It’s when you are receiving flowers for no reason, gifts like jewelry and traveling to romantic getaways with the one you love.

Puppy Love is an infatuation, or having a crush on someone.   Young children and teenagers experience puppy love.   This type of love doesn’t last.

Self-Love is the most important love of all.  If you don’t love yourself, then it is difficult for someone else to love you.  Having self-esteem and loving yourself, will ensure that you put yourself first.   Self-love is good for your overall well-being.

Passionate Love is the intense sexual attraction for another person.  It is the longing and desire for intimacy with the one you love.   Passionate love doesn’t last, but the love itself can last.

Unconditional Love is the love we have for our children.  It has no conditions, restrictions or limitations placed upon it.  Unconditional love is a lasting love.  It’s the one type of love that is endless.

True love is an attachment to another person.  You sometimes hear someone say, “He or she is the love of my life.”  They mean they love them with all their heart, body and soul.  They could be referred to as “soul mates.”  No matter how much you love someone, you can’t make them love you, if they don’t.  There are other sayings like, “Money can’t buy you love, and Love doesn’t cost a thing.”

When you love someone, you want what’s best for them.  It is an unselfish act.  You are protective of them and care about their feelings and well-being.  You want to be with the one you love, all of the time.  You think  about them constantly.  It’s like an addiction.  “Love can make you do crazy things.”

Sometimes,  you can’t control who you love.  Even when they aren’t good for you.  Especially, if you don’t have self-love or self-esteem.  Many people are in love with the wrong person, that doesn’t deserve their love and the love isn’t reciprocated.  “You can’t help who you love.”

Being in love makes us happy, euphoric, confident and optimistic.   “All you need is love.”

“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

To love and be loved in return, is the greatest feeling in the world.

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Dealing With Jealousy

Love - is death without you

 

A little jealousy in a relationship is harmless.  As long as it doesn’t cause you to feel uncomfortable.  Being jealous is a sign of insecurity.

There is harmless jealousy and potentially dangerous jealousy.  Harmless jealousy can just be, being protective or not wanting to share your love’s time and attention with others.  It can be flattering, knowing someone loves you and is feeling insecure.  If there aren’t any threats or accusations, then it is probably nothing to worry about.  If they trust you, that’s a good indication whether the jealousy is harmless or dangerous.

Being suspicious and accusing someone of cheating will cause a major problem in any relationship.  Sometimes it will cause the person being accused to cheat.  Being jealous can be a sign of a possessive individual.

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Winning at Love

love - intimacy

 

Communication is key to a loving relationship.  Talking and working out problems you encounter before they get too far out of control, and the communication between the two of you shuts down, is totally necessary in order to keep the relationship strong.

There must be mutual respect for one another.  Being respectful of the other person’s opinions and differences, and being able to agree to disagree is very important.

Trust is absolutely necessary in order to feel safe and secure when you have given your heart to someone to love and protect.

Keeping your individuality and not losing yourself in the relationship also key.  You must have interests of your own, aside from your loved one.  Making someone your whole world, will cause your loved one to feel that are needy and insecure.

Being spontaneous and unpredictable keeps excitement in the relationship.  All  relationships have a point when one or both people may begin to feel that the passion has subsided.  This can cause vulnerability and insecurity on either side.  You may feel that your man or woman doesn’t love you anymore.  This is a natural feeling.  It just means you have to work harder to bring back the sparks and try new things to keep the fires burning.  Monotony can cause boredom.

Intimacy is a major part of a loving relationship.  Love making bonds couples together keeping them close and connected to each other.  A lack of sex will ultimately cause problems in a relationship, possibly infidelity.

A man and a woman being totally committed to each other and to keeping their love strong, will lead to a successful and lasting union.  You can never take one’s love for granted. A loving relationship is something you will continuously have to work at, in order to keep it solid.

 

 

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Keeping It Hot, Hot, Hot!

 

love =- keepn it hot

love - hearts and candles

 

In order to keep the passion from diminishing in a relationship, both of you must keep things spontaneous, unpredictable and exciting.   Plan for date night at least once a month.  Shock your man every now and then by doing something different.  You must make the effort to keep yourself looking appealing.  Try to keep your body tight and your weight close to the weight you were when he met you.  This seems to be most men’s biggest complaint.  Never give him an excuse to cheat on you.  You don’t want your man looking at other women and wishing your were more glamorous and sexy.

Change things up in regards to your appearance.  Every  now and then change your hair color, hair style, and/or your fashions.   Your man will notice and other men will, too.

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