Commit or Quit

Love - photo



A man considers marriage only because he knows the woman he loves is considering it, not because he want to.  He knows she expects it and he knows it’s the right thing to do.  He also knows if he doesn’t propose, he could lose her.  If men didn’t have to get married, most men wouldn’t.

To men commitment means loss of freedom, being restricted, and no more chasing women.   Men are driven by lust and some may fear they won’t be able to be faithful to one woman.

A woman should never bring up the topic of commitment early in the relationship.  First, a man has to commit to being in an exclusive relationship before he can think about marriage.  He may feel that you are only after the ring, and the idea of marriage, not him.  Never pressure him to commit to you.  The relationship must develop naturally and progress to marriage.

These are a few scenarios you can try, if he won’t commit:

You could go to a jewelry store with him and hint about which ring you would like, but don’t nag or pressure him.

You could tell him while he isn’t ready yet (stalling), you will be seeing other people and keeping your options open.  This way you give him a choice to think about whether he want to take the risk of losing you.  You’re looking out for yourself and doing what is best for you.  It also reminds him of the woman he fell in love with.  He may realize his life is better with you.  Also, he may feel insecure thinking some other man may take his place.

If he won’t commit after 2-5 years of dating, you can let him know that you have invested more than enough time in the relationship and since it isn’t leading to a future, you have decided to move on.  Don’t say it, if you don’t mean it, and isn’t ready to walk away from the relationship.  This isn’t an ultimatum, but simply a decision you have made.

Some men will propose just to shut you up, and decide upon a lengthy engagement as a stall tactic.   If he hasn’t proposed in 5 years, he probably won’t in 10 years.   This way he continues to string you along until he meets someone he is ready to marry, and marry her in less than a year.  It happens all the time.  Men distinctly know early on in a relationship, if he considers the woman he is dating someone he could see himself being married to.

If all else fails, just chalk up the years you wasted with him, as an experience and just know there is someone out there that will feel lucky to have you and will commit to you.

Ultimately, a man’s deep love for a woman will drive him to commitment and marriage.   The ball is in his court, but you have control as to how much time you will spend waiting for him “to put a ring on it”.

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