betrayal

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He Cheated, Now What?

love - love is about trust

 

It is the anniversary of my initial posting of He Cheated, Now What?

This is the most commented on post I have written so far, so I have decided to re-blog it.  This subject matter may be of interest to everyone at some point in their life, even if just to advise someone on how to handle infidelity when they are going through it.

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When you have been cheated on, the first thing you have to do is decide if the relationship is worth saving.  Both of you must really want to work at gaining trust and healing from the pain and disappointment of the betrayal that goes along with the infidelity.

Communication is needed to understand what caused the infidelity in the first place.  This is crucial in hopes of preventing it from happening again.  Couples counseling could help with an unbiased third-party.   He has to earn your trust again.  Trust is very hard to gain, once it has been lost.

Don’t obsess over information about the other woman.  It was your man who betrayed your trust, the other woman doesn’t have any loyalty to you.  You need to know if it was a one-time affair or a lengthy affair.  A slip up is easier to forgive.  If it was with an ex, that could mean there are still underlying feelings between them.   That would pose a problem in trying to salvage the relationship.  If he has cheated on you before or he has a pattern of cheating in all of his past relationships, he most likely will cheat on you again.

Continue reading →

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Surviving a Breakup

love-let-go

When we are in a relationship for a long period of time we can become comfortable and complacent.  We may stay in the relationship even though we aren’t happy.  Having to start over and the fear of the unknown, also keeps couples together when things aren’t working out between them.

Men and women often dread being alone or having a single status again. Cheating is an option some people will take when they want to hold onto who they are with while they look for their replacement.  Some would rather cheat on their partner, than to get rid of them.  Thinking a man will change is also a big mistake women tend to make.  Wasting time in a relationship that’s going nowhere isn’t worth it.

Some people feel a sense of loss or failure when a relationship ends, even when they weren’t compatible.  Sometimes, it’s just the stigma society places on being coupled, or an emotional attachment to someone who is emotionally detached from you.

Getting back into the dating scene and taking it slowly is the best way to heal and to take your mind off the hurt.  There’s something to be learned from each relationship.  Now that you are free, take the time out for yourself.  Hang out where there are plenty of men, since you are single and ready to mingle.  Remember, someone better is out there waiting for you.

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The Lies Men Tell

love-finding-mr-right

 

In a new relationship some men will lie about their intentions, as to whether they really want to be in a monogamous relationship.  They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear.  A man will take the chance at lying in order to continue seeing a woman he’s interested in at the time, knowing at some point she may find out his real intention.  He will hope that by the time she finds out the truth, she will be hooked on him and will not want to walk away from the relationship.

Men will also lie about their relationship status.  He may have a girlfriend, a booty call or a friend with benefits that he’s holding on to.  Men tend to lie about the reasons their past relationship ended as well.  Often they’ll say their girlfriend cheated on them, when they were the one who cheated.  They will feel you will have sympathy for them and think they are a nice guy.

Continue reading →

by

He Cheated, Now What?

love - love is about trust

When you have been cheated on, the first thing you have to do is decide if the relationship is worth saving.  Both of you must really want to work at gaining trust and healing from the pain and disappointment of the betrayal that goes along with the infidelity.

Communication is needed to understand what caused the infidelity in the first place.  This is crucial in hopes of preventing it from happening again.  Couples counseling could help with an unbiased third-party.   He has to earn your trust again.  Trust is very hard to gain, once it has been lost.

Don’t obsess over information about the other woman.  It was your man who betrayed your trust, the other woman doesn’t have any loyalty to you.  You need to know if it was a one-time affair or a lengthy affair.  A slip up is easier to forgive.  If it was with an ex, that could mean there are still underlying feelings between them.   That would pose a problem in trying to salvage the relationship.  If he has cheated on you before or he has a pattern of cheating in all of his past relationships, he most likely will cheat on you again.

Continue reading →