On a Date, Who Should Pay?

love - who pays on a date


When you’re on a date, the person who asks for the date is generally the person who pays the check whether it’s the man or the woman.  If you want to contribute, you could offer to pay the tip.  A gentleman may pay the bill regardless, but he isn’t obligated to pay.

It’s not being considerate if you purposely pick the most expensive restaurant and order the most expensive items on the menu or order several drinks without your date asking you if you would like to order another drink.  It may backfire on you.  You may not get a second date. (LOL)  If you’ve been dating for a while and are considered to be in a relationship, then it’s normal that either of you pay for the meals on a date.

When a man asks you to go out with him, if he intents for you to pay or split the check, that conversation should always take place before you go out.  This way you can agree to or cancel the date.  I feel going “dutch” on a first date isn’t worth your time!  You’re better off going out with your girlfriends instead.  If a woman starts out paying for the dates, then she will be expected to continue to do so. On a first date, I feel it’s best to let the man select the restaurant because it will tell you something about his character (whether he’s cheap or not trying to impress you).  If a man feels that he doesn’t want to spend his money on a date with someone he may not have  chemistry and attraction with, then he should always have first dates at coffee shops or happy hours.

Tip:  Always google the restaurant in advance to have an idea of the place you are going and confirm your date the day before.  If you’re not comfortable with the place or the location, cancel the date and lose his number.  If the first date isn’t impressive, it will only go downhill from there.


Blinded by Love

Sometimes when a woman is in love, she will be in denial or oblivious to all the red flags that are present early on in the relationship.  Women often hope they can change a man’s bad habits or annoying ways because she loves him and want the relationship to work out.  Your friends won’t have blinders on and will see all the alarming issues even when you are blind-sided by love.  You should pay attention to what they tell you, and keep your eyes open.

When you are in love, you must think with your head not with your heart.    Love can make you do crazy things.  I guess that’s why we often hear people say, “I hope he or she did it for love.”

Some women so desperately want to be in a relationship that they will hold on even when they’re not a good fit.  Society also contributes to this way of thinking by making women feel insecure about themselves when they are not attached.

Always guard your heart, be patient and listen to your gut.  It’s easier to fall in love, but much harder to mend a broken heart.

It’s Easier to Get a Man, When You Already Have One



Have you ever noticed when you are actively looking for a man, you just can’t find the one you want.  There’s something about allowing attraction to happen naturally.  Sometimes women may be sending signals that men interpret as being desperate.

People are often attracted to whom they can’t have.  Maybe that’s why some people are attracted to someone who is unavailable.  A man’s ego and competitive nature may cause him to seek out a woman who is already taken.

Some people purposely get involved with someone who is emotionally unavailable.  They may choose these types of relationships because of past hurts, rejection, abandonment, fear of commitment or low self-esteem.  In either case, they are trying to avoid getting emotionally attached and repeat heartache.  Sometimes it’s the fantasy that they crave of trying to win someone who is unattainable.

Lose your “baggage” from past relationships and try to open your heart to the possibility of love, that you must learn to believe that you truly deserve.


So, Your Man Wants an Open Relationship


Today some couples are considering the non traditional option of having an open relationship.  They feel that since so many relationships end due to infidelity, that they’ll eliminate that factor from their relationship.  Some people actually don’t believe in being monogamous.  Others want the freedom to have different sex partners, but want to be honest about it, rather than cheat.  Sometimes boredom in the bedroom may cause couples to contemplate an open relationship.

A couple must both desire to explore this option and must mutually agree upon this type of relationship and ground rules must be put in place.  Also they would have to be secure,  trusting and not jealous individuals.  First of all, in order for this to possibly work, this type of relationship must be simply casual sex, without any emotional connection.  (I don’t think anyone can predict whether or not they will develop feelings for someone else).  That’s the number one risk factor with this type of relationship.  Secondly, the more sexual partners you have, the greater the chance of getting STDs, or an unexpected pregnancy.  All partners must practice safe sex.

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Profile Tips for Online Dating Sites




When subscribing to online dating sites your profile and profile photo will determine how you will be perceived by others.  It gives in a brief synopsis of your personality, your interests and your appearance.  You should look approachable.  Being too made up and dressing too provocatively will cause men to see you just as a party girl or a good time girl, but they won’t take you serious.

Posting at least five photos of yourself is a must.  You should have some full body shots as well.  Wearing dresses in some of your photos, instead of all pants and maxi dresses will show your femininity.  Besides, men want to see your curves, your style and how you look in your clothes.

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Dating Red Flags


When meeting someone for the first time you should try to be a good listener.  Sometimes a man or woman will show signs of being controlling or some other negative behavior.  Another red flag is a person who constantly talks about their ex.  This is an indication that they aren’t over them.

You can judge a person’s character by how they treat others;  waiters, etc.  Being rude to other people is a sign that they’re not a nice person.

If a man is late to a date, and he hasn’t called or texted you to let you know and to apologize for his lateness, this is a sign that he doesn’t value your time, he’s inconsiderate and this will only worsen if you continue to date him.

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Knowing When to Move On



When you’re in a relationship and it feels like you have to put so much effort into it to make it work, he’s probably not into you.  It could be that you aren’t his type or you’re not compatible.

If a man disappears days without any contact with you, he isn’t into you.  When your relationship feels like you are on a roller coaster ride, generally that means it’s in trouble.  He may not want to let go altogether.  He may just want to string you along as his piece on the side, when he’s in between relationships or when he has a dry spell.  Usually in this case, he’s just using you for sex.  You may become his booty call, but not his girlfriend.

Men who don’t have any interest in what’s going on with you or don’t try to get to  know you or share things with you about himself, isn’t into you.

If a man see you infrequently or waits days to call or to return your call or text, isn’t into you.  A man who doesn’t make time to spend with you, isn’t into you.  At some point he will call with some lame excuse.  There’s no such thing as being too busy to call or text.  Excuses, excuses, excuses!

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Spot the Player, Avoid the Game



A player is a man who uses women for his gain.  He has no emotional attachment to them.   These are some of the characteristics to look for to determine if the man you are dating is a player:

You never have his undivided attention when you are in his company.  He’s always searching for the next score.  Players are bold, they may flirt with other women in front of you.  His cellphone gets more attention from him than you do.  He’s constantly checking his phone for text messages or emails from other women.  (He keeps his phone on vibrate).  A player often send texts as his method of contacting you, rather than taking the time to call.

The player is a smooth talker, very aggressive and very confident.  He will tell you just what we want to hear.  Dependability isn’t one of his best qualities either.  He will cancel dates at the last minute and he won’t call for days.  (He’s juggling his women).  You can’t reach him when you need him and he controls when and where you meet up.  A player is hesitant about meeting in public places.  He doesn’t want to be seen by his other women.  He won’t do PDA.   He’ll always use the excuse that he is so busy, that’s why he hasn’t called.  (Busy dating other women).

A player only talks about himself.  He isn’t interested in your life or interests.  He doesn’t want to introduce you to his family and friends and doesn’t want to meet yours.  If he does, he won’t introduce you as his girlfriend.  He talks about sex frequently.   The player will try to get you in bed on the first date.  He will push you to go out for drinks and will try to get you wasted.   He’s always looking for a quick lay.  His game is to “hit it and quit it.”

Players are very popular on social media sites.  They won’t post any photos with you on their social media accounts.  They usually have a lot of female friends;  friends with benefits and booty calls.  A guy who is a player will never talk about the future with you.

Even if the player has mastered “the game,” if he is as remarkable as he seems, he wouldn’t still be single.  Anyone who seems too good to be true, probably isn’t.


He Cheated, Now What?

love - love is about trust

When you have been cheated on, the first thing you have to do is decide if the relationship is worth saving.  Both of you must really want to work at gaining trust and healing from the pain and disappointment of the betrayal that goes along with the infidelity.

Communication is needed to understand what caused the infidelity in the first place.  This is crucial in hopes of preventing it from happening again.  Couples counseling could help with an unbiased third-party.   He has to earn your trust again.  Trust is very hard to gain, once it has been lost.

Don’t obsess over information about the other woman.  It was your man who betrayed your trust, the other woman doesn’t have any loyalty to you.  You need to know if it was a one-time affair or a lengthy affair.  A slip up is easier to forgive.  If it was with an ex, that could mean there are still underlying feelings between them.   That would pose a problem in trying to salvage the relationship.  If he has cheated on you before or he has a pattern of cheating in all of his past relationships, he most likely will cheat on you again.

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