Marriage

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A Ring is Just a Symbol, Until You Say “I Do”

Love - Engagement Ring

 

If you have been in a relationship for several years and have been constantly pressuring your man to “put a ring on it”, he may finally give you a ring just to shut you up.   Your fiancé may want a three or more year engagement and won’t want to set a wedding date.  An open engagement is typically requested by a man who has no intention of getting married (or getting married to you).  The ring may only be a stall tactic to keep stringing you along and to appease you or to get you off his back.  Two years is sufficient time to be engaged and to plan a wedding.

The best way to avoid getting a “shut up ring”, is not to live together for years, not to have the baby before the marriage and after two years of dating, if your man isn’t talking about a future with you, you should bring up the topic and be prepared to make some serious decisions as to how much longer you are willing to stay in the relationship without knowing whether or not there’s a future with him.

A “shut up engagement ring” that a man asks you to give back to him is more embarrassing and humiliating than never receiving a ring at all.  I feel if you are given a ring under false pretenses, you should not give it back if your fiancé calls off the engagement.  You deserve to keep the ring as retribution for the pain and suffering he has caused you.

A woman’s time is precious, don’t waste years with someone you have to pressure to marry you.  Many women fall into this trap because they feel they have invested so many years of their lives with their man and they are willing to hang in there, year after year, hoping one day that he will want to marry her.  It doesn’t take a man years to figure out that he wants to marry a woman.  Sometimes a man will hold on to a woman until he meets the one that he wants to marry and settle down with.   Some men have been known to do this and will marry that woman within a year.

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Break Up, Just to Make Up

When you’re in a relationship and you develop a pattern of breaking up just to get back together again, after a while you won’t be taken seriously.  It’s like using a break up as a tool to get what you want.  Have you ever heard the saying “The boy who cried wolf?”  That’s what constantly breaking up and then making up is like.  This tactic won’t continue to work after two or three times.  It’s like you’re bluffing to get his attention.

If you have compatibility issues, then you may have to move on because you can’t make someone be the person you want them to be, unless they truly want to change.  If you are spoiled and always want to have your way, you should learn to compromise and develop better communication skills as it could be key to resolving many problems in the relationship.

Relationships aren’t always easy.  You have two individual personalities and attitudes to deal with.  There will have to be some give and take on both sides.  If your love is strong enough the relationship will survive.  When you are in a relationship that is worth saving, you should try to stay together and figure things out.  A relationship with constant ups and downs, like a roller coaster ride, could be a sign that you’re in a toxic relationship.  Hopefully, that’s not the case.

Sometimes it takes a break up for couples to miss one another and realize how much they really care.   Besides, it could be sweeter the second time around.

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Opposites Attract or Do They?

Love is perfect with you

In relationships, opposites often are attracted to each other.  They can make a good balance and bring excitement and intrigue to the relationship.  It would require some compromise though since they may have different views in many areas.  If they have drastically different personalities, that could pose a problem when it comes to values and decision-making.  It could also become a power struggle if they are both alphas.  Aggressive people are usually attracted to passive partners.  Couples with very similar personalities usually will get along well, since they may agree on most things.  It would be a safe option to select a person with a similar personality, habits and values, rather than the opposite.

Have you ever wondered why good girls are attracted to bad boys?  It’s the mystery, excitement and the challenge that they bring, being the opposite of themselves.  In friendships opposites would be a good mix, while in a marriage opposites could become a challenge if a couple isn’t able to compromise and respect their differences.

There are some good qualities that opposites can bring to a relationship.  Their different experiences and views may contribute to an open-minded and well-rounded couple.  The qualities one person possess that the other don’t, could actually benefit the relationship.  There may be instances where you will have to come to a middle ground whenever you don’t see eye-to-eye.  If a person has never dated their opposite, it may be worth trying something different just for a change and see where it goes.

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Why Men Suddenly Lose Interest

 

A man will get bored if there’s constant predictability or monotonous routine in his relationship.  Men crave spontaneity and a challenge to keep their interest.  It’s like playing the game of chess.  Men enjoy strategizing their next move in order to reel her in.  Keeping a man unsure of your feelings, will stop him from taking you for granted and in turn from losing interest in you.  Being unpredictable and changing up things at a whim, will make him want to continue seeing you.

Men are hunters by nature.  They are always up for a challenge.  Someone who cause them to have to up their game in order to win her over will remain interesting to him.  The thrill of the chase is intriguing to a man.  He won’t lose interest in a woman who wasn’t too easy to get in the first place.  The harder a man has to work at pursuing a woman, the more he will value her.

Contrary to what most women think, most men still expect to have to pursue a woman.  A man’s ego will cause him to continue to chase after a woman he wants.  Men are competitive and don’t like to give up or feel defeated.  She would be more interesting to him than a woman who is chasing after him.

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It’s Easier to Get a Man, When You Already Have One

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Have you ever noticed when you are actively looking for a man, you just can’t find the one you want.  There’s something about allowing attraction to happen naturally.  Sometimes women may be sending signals that men interpret as being desperate.

People are often attracted to whom they can’t have.  Maybe that’s why some people are attracted to someone who is unavailable.  A man’s ego and competitive nature may cause him to seek out a woman who is already taken.

Some people purposely get involved with someone who is emotionally unavailable.  They may choose these types of relationships because of past hurts, rejection, abandonment, fear of commitment or low self-esteem.  In either case, they are trying to avoid getting emotionally attached and repeat heartache.  Sometimes it’s the fantasy that they crave of trying to win someone who is unattainable.

Lose your “baggage” from past relationships and try to open your heart to the possibility of love, that you must learn to believe that you truly deserve.

 

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Don’t Just Date Your “Type”

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Some women tend to have a specific type of man who she’s attracted to and she doesn’t have any interest in any other man who doesn’t fit into her “type”.  It’s a good idea not to place limitations on available men out there that you could meet.  You may just miss out on a great guy that you’re overlooking or ruling him out because he doesn’t fit your physical or professional type.  These men could be someone you cross paths with everyday;  a close male friend, a coworker or someone you’ve known for years, maybe even someone you placed in  the “friend zone”.

He may not be tall, dark and handsome, have swag, have a successful career or be the man every woman desires, but he may have other meaningful qualities that you’re also looking for, but can’t seem to find in your usual “type”.  Qualities like character, personality, integrity, honesty, stability, maturity and loyalty, just to name a few.

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Men Show Love By Their Actions

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A man may not always tell you that he loves you, but his actions will show his true feelings.  Men are taught as boys to hide their feelings and emotions.  They have learned how to do that very well.  Men communicate differently than women do.  Some men won’t open up and share everything that’s on their minds or what they are feeling.  You will know how he feels about you by the way he provides and protects you.  He will do things for you without you asking him to.  A man in love will come to the rescue of the one he loves and will help out or handle a situation that he know is bothering you.

When a man chooses to spend quality time with you, instead of hanging out with the fellas, he’s showing you that he cherishes being in your company as often as he can.   A man in love will go out of his way to please the woman he’s in love with.  If he does things for you, that he hasn’t done for any other woman, you’ll know just how much you mean to him.  Other people will notice his love for you way before you do.

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Surviving a Breakup

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When we are in a relationship for a long period of time we can become comfortable and complacent.  We may stay in the relationship even though we aren’t happy.  Having to start over and the fear of the unknown, also keeps couples together when things aren’t working out between them.

Men and women often dread being alone or having a single status again. Cheating is an option some people will take when they want to hold onto who they are with while they look for their replacement.  Some would rather cheat on their partner, than to get rid of them.  Thinking a man will change is also a big mistake women tend to make.  Wasting time in a relationship that’s going nowhere isn’t worth it.

Some people feel a sense of loss or failure when a relationship ends, even when they weren’t compatible.  Sometimes, it’s just the stigma society places on being coupled, or an emotional attachment to someone who is emotionally detached from you.

Getting back into the dating scene and taking it slowly is the best way to heal and to take your mind off the hurt.  There’s something to be learned from each relationship.  Now that you are free, take the time out for yourself.  Hang out where there are plenty of men, since you are single and ready to mingle.  Remember, someone better is out there waiting for you.

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You Got Him, Now Keep Him

love-valentines

Sometimes women will become comfortable in their relationship and will slack up on keeping up their sex appeal.  She may stop exercising and begin gaining extra weight or she may stop dressing the way she did when she first met her man.  When women become wives and mothers, they tend to get so wrapped up into “mommy mode and/or wifey mode” and she may forget to remain the woman her man fell in love with.  Men’s biggest complaint has always been women gaining excess weight after they marry them.

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Love at First Sight, Really

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When couples first meet they may like each other, have sexual chemistry and physical attraction.  This is not love at first sight.  It’s simply infatuation or sometimes lust.

When a man says it was love at first sight, he means he loves what he sees at the moment.  It’s physical and sexual attraction and chemistry, but not necessarily love.  It may or may not last once a man gets to know you.  He may not like what’s on the inside;  your personality, behavior, morals and values, etc.

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