Love and Sex

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Ask Yourself, Does He Have “Potential”?

 

Every once in a while you meet a man whom you are physically attracted to and instantly connect with, but he doesn’t quite meet all of your criteria.  Instead of dismissing him stop and ask yourself, does he have potential?

Some men need a strong woman to support and encourage them. He may be the laid back type and appear to be less ambitious, but he may need a push.

You’ve heard the saying, “Behind every great man is a strong woman.” It may take some men longer to mature or to settle on a career path, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get his act together, if that’s what he has to do to be with a woman who places that expectation upon him.

As long as the pros, out-weigh the cons and there’s chemistry and compatibility the rest can fall into place. There’s not a perfect man or woman out there, but there may be one that is perfect for you if you give it a chance to develop into its full potential.

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Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

once a cheater - always a cheater

 

A person who cheats can change if they really want to change and feel the need to change.  If someone loses or almost loses the love of their life, this could be the wake up call to make them realize the significance of their actions.  Without serious consequences for their betrayal, a cheater will most likely continue to cheat throughout the relationship.  When someone cheats and knows that it will be forgiven just by saying that they’re sorry and that you won’t leave them, they will feel that they have nothing to lose if they get caught again.  If the cheater has remorse and guilt they are more likely to be able to remain faithful in the future.

Couples counseling could help the couple to get to the bottom of why the affair happened in the first place, and help them learn to communicate their needs with one another and to be able to work through problems in the relationship.  Being vulnerable and unhappy in a relationship can lead to infidelity.

The betrayal is always in the back of the mind of the person who has been cheated on, and the insecurity and fear that it will happen again.  They may think you are cheating again, even if you aren’t.   That’s why rebuilding trust is so crucial to getting past the affair.   If the person cheats a second time, this may be a sign of an habitual cheater.  At this point, it may be time to consider ending the relationship.  If they have cheated in all of their past relationships, they probably won’t take monogamy seriously with you either.

Once a cheater, always a cheater doesn’t have to be their fate.  Some couples come out of an affair, more committed to each other than they were before the affair.  Of course, there are no guarantees in love and lust!

 

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Keep Yourself Market Ready

Love - Keep Yourself Market Ready2

 

Whether a woman is single, in a relationship or a marriage, she should always keep herself up (her hair, body, fashion, make up).   Her man will continue to see his bae as the sexy woman he fell in love with.  He will also notice other men are eyeing her too.

There is nothing worse than breaking up and having to work so hard at losing weight, getting your sexy back and building your confidence again in order to get yourself back on the dating scene.

Women who slay can rebound much faster and their confidence remains intact after a breakup.  Keeping yourself put together at all times is attractive to men.  They see a woman who is confident and loves herself.  Putting your man and your children first and neglecting yourself, is a sure way to get your man to lose interest and desire for you.  Women who get stuck into the wifey and baby mama or superwoman mode, may inadvertently cause their men to stray.  These women are often taken for granted and are no longer being romanced by their men.

When you keep yourself market ready, your man will want to do date night to take you out and show you off.  What man doesn’t desire some good arm candy?  She keeps his lust for her alive.  Every woman should want to be the best version of herself.  It’s easier to keep up the glam when she is doing it for herself, and not just for a man.

 

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Things a Man Won’t Tell You

love - men's secrets

 

First and foremost, a man won’t tell you what is on his mind or how he feels.  He won’t share his worries, his insecurities, jealousy or anything that may be bothering him.  A man fears he will seem weak.  Men are taught as boys to be strong at all times.

Your man won’t share negative information about his friends or family with you.  Men are much better at keeping secrets than women are.  Men don’t disclose anything about themselves, in their past or present that he is embarrassed about or uncomfortable with.  Most men won’t tell you that they cheated on all their girlfriends or their ex-wife, or that he is a former alcoholic, drug user, or that he beat his last girlfriend.

Most men won’t tell you about their adverse health conditions or that they are popping the ” little blue pill”.

Some men lust after other women, maybe even one of your girlfriends.  He knows better than to share that with you.  (LOL)

Men don’t usually tell you the moment that they fall for you or why they hate to say the words, “I love you”.  It makes them feel vulnerable.

All men hate it when their woman won’t shut up, but he usually doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her.  He would rather tune her out.  A man won’t always tell his woman that he need space.  He will start pulling away from her instead.

Most men won’t tell you that he’s bored in the bedroom and wants to try something new or that he craves more sex.  He would rather get it elsewhere.

The one thing all men refuse to tell you the truth about when you ask them, is how you look in an outfit or anything regarding your appearance, whether it’s your weight, make up, hair style, etc.  They know their woman can’t handle the truth, if it’s not the answer she wants to hear from him.

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Should You Tell Your Girlfriend Her Man is Cheating on Her?

 

 

Although your loyalty is always with your girlfriend, you are putting your friendship at risk when you tell your girlfriend that her man is cheating on her.  When it is her husband that’s cheating, it could turn her life upside down especially if they have children.  It would be less risky, if he is just a boyfriend.

Most women have a suspicion when their man is cheating.  Women are intuitive.  Men are so careless and they’re creatures of habit.  When a man’s regular habits/routines change drastically this is a red flag that most women pick up on right away.  Cheating is the first thing that we suspect.

When a husband is cheating on his wife, most wives already know and choose to stay with their husbands.  Many wives choose to remain in denial because they don’t want to leave him or confront him.  They want to hold on to the fairy tale that they are happy and have the perfect marriage.  By remaining in denial, their man will continue to practice some level of discretion and show some respect in hopes of her not finding out.  Once a man knows that you are aware of his infidelity, and you choose to stay with him, at this point he will continue to cheat on you throughout your relationship.  He will no longer have the fear of losing you, so he becomes less discreet and more disrespectful.  Women must realize when you confront someone about their infidelity you must be prepared to take some kind of action to let them know you will not tolerate cheating, or you’re better off pretending not to know.

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Social Media Can Ruin Relationships

Love - Social Media Ruins Relationships2

 

Putting all of your personal business out there is not good for any relationship.  Some information should be kept private between you and your man and shouldn’t even be shared with your girlfriends.  Have you noticed that couples on Reality TV have a greater risk of breaking up or divorcing?

Too many couples spend so much of their time on social media rather than spending quality time with each other.  Social media are often used for cheating purposes, connecting with random men or women or reconnecting with former lovers.  Social media can cause temptation, which could lead to infidelity.  Excessive time spent on social media sites can cause jealousy, insecurity, create distance, trust issues and conflict in a relationship. Connecting in a flirtatious way, by liking sexy photos of the opposite sex can be a sign of trouble.  Social media can become addictive just like pornography can become to some people.

You should never assume your Relationship Status without first discussing it with the other person as to where you are, and to make sure you are on the same page as far as your relationship status is concerned.  If you’re in a relationship and your man or woman refuses to change his/his status on Facebook or refuses to post photos with you together, it’s likely they are purposely excluding you to hide that they are in a relationship.  This is definitely a red flag that you shouldn’t ignore.

Constantly being distracting with our cellphones has also become more engaging than communicating with each other.  Have you ever noticed while dining in a restaurant, couples are on their phones and not talking to one another?  Couples fight over sharing passwords and pass codes all of the time.  This will certainly cause trust issues in a relationship.

While you’re connecting with others and feeling the pressure to increase the number of friends and followers you have on social media, be careful not to allow social media to cause you to disconnect from the person who should mean the most to you.  In other words, don’t let social media take over your life!

 

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Women Shouldn’t Lead With Their Curves, If They Want to be Taken Seriously

love - sex women3

 

When a woman first meet a man if she flaunts her sex appeal by dressing too provocative or revealing, a man will see her as an easy score.  Men place women in categories almost immediately.  A man may think of her as loose and only as a booty call or a friend with benefits.  She won’t be taken seriously by him.  She definitely won’t be the one he’ll take home to meet his mother or someone he will see himself in a serious relationship with.

Most men still judge women just as harshly as they did years ago.  A woman’s appearance,  body language and the way she carries herself can cause her to be labeled in a negative way.

Tasteful flirting in a lady-like manner, is as assertive as a woman she be in initiating contact with a man.  Being too aggressive with a stranger could be risky behavior.  Some men believe an aggressive woman will come on to any man that she is attracted to.  He won’t think she only approached him because he’s special.  Just like when a woman sleeps with a man too soon, he feels she does this with every man she meets, which may not always be the case.

When a man gets a woman in bed too quickly, and he hasn’t had the time to get to know her, there’s no other reason for him to come back, but for more sex.  He doesn’t feel the need to get to know YOU at this point.  Remember, every man’s goal is to “hit it”.

First impressions are lasting impressions, so don’t ruin your chances of being taken seriously by behaving in a way that you will be thought of only as a “good-time girl.”

 

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On a Date, Who Should Pay?

love - who pays on a date

 

When you’re on a date, the person who asks for the date is generally the person who pays the check whether it’s the man or the woman.  If you want to contribute, you could offer to pay the tip.  A gentleman may pay the bill regardless, but he isn’t obligated to pay.

It’s not being considerate if you purposely pick the most expensive restaurant and order the most expensive items on the menu or order several drinks without your date asking you if you would like to order another drink.  It may backfire on you.  You may not get a second date. (LOL)  If you’ve been dating for a while and are considered to be in a relationship, then it’s normal that either of you pay for the meals on a date.

When a man asks you to go out with him, if he intents for you to pay or split the check, that conversation should always take place before you go out.  This way you can agree to or cancel the date.  I feel going “dutch” on a first date isn’t worth your time!  You’re better off going out with your girlfriends instead.  If a woman starts out paying for the dates, then she will be expected to continue to do so. On a first date, I feel it’s best to let the man select the restaurant because it will tell you something about his character (whether he’s cheap or not trying to impress you).  If a man feels that he doesn’t want to spend his money on a date with someone he may not have  chemistry and attraction with, then he should always have first dates at coffee shops or happy hours.

Tip:  Always google the restaurant in advance to have an idea of the place you are going and confirm your date the day before.  If you’re not comfortable with the place or the location, cancel the date and lose his number.  If the first date isn’t impressive, it will only go downhill from there.

 

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A Ring is Just a Symbol, Until You Say “I Do”

Love - Engagement Ring

 

If you have been in a relationship for several years and have been constantly pressuring your man to “put a ring on it”, he may finally give you a ring just to shut you up.   Your fiancé may want a three or more year engagement and won’t want to set a wedding date.  An open engagement is typically requested by a man who has no intention of getting married (or getting married to you).  The ring may only be a stall tactic to keep stringing you along and to appease you or to get you off his back.  Two years is sufficient time to be engaged and to plan a wedding.

The best way to avoid getting a “shut up ring”, is not to live together for years, not to have the baby before the marriage and after two years of dating, if your man isn’t talking about a future with you, you should bring up the topic and be prepared to make some serious decisions as to how much longer you are willing to stay in the relationship without knowing whether or not there’s a future with him.

A “shut up engagement ring” that a man asks you to give back to him is more embarrassing and humiliating than never receiving a ring at all.  I feel if you are given a ring under false pretenses, you should not give it back if your fiancé calls off the engagement.  You deserve to keep the ring as retribution for the pain and suffering he has caused you.

A woman’s time is precious, don’t waste years with someone you have to pressure to marry you.  Many women fall into this trap because they feel they have invested so many years of their lives with their man and they are willing to hang in there, year after year, hoping one day that he will want to marry her.  It doesn’t take a man years to figure out that he wants to marry a woman.  Sometimes a man will hold on to a woman until he meets the one that he wants to marry and settle down with.   Some men have been known to do this and will marry that woman within a year.

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Girl Code: Why We Need One

Women should be kinder to one another.  Unlike men, who will nod or speak to each other when their eyes meet, women will often hate on another woman by eyeing her from head-to-toe, but without a smile or a hello.

Body shaming another woman is something we should never do.  Society already places unrealistic standards on how women should look.  We come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone isn’t going to look like a supermodel.

Girlfriends’ exes should certainly be off-limits.  That includes ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands and even her crushes.  Cat fights between a woman over a man is definitely foolish.  No man is worth getting not even a strand of your hair pulled out.  There are too many men available to fight over one.

Girlfriends should always have your back when you’re out partying. They should always watch your drink at the bar.   A real girlfriend would never let her friend drive home when she’s been drinking too much.  It’s better to get an Uber than a D.U.I.

When girlfriends have a fallout, they still shouldn’t spill the tea, or tell her secrets on social media.   You should value your friendship and avoid posting negative comments (shade) about someone who you use to call a friend.

Girlfriends should be happy for each other if one of them finds the man of her dreams, regardless of whether she’s still looking for Mr. Right.   Some women are known to abandon their girlfriends when they meet a new man.   We have to remember men will come and go, but your girlfriends will always be there for you when the relationship ends to help you get your slay on.

Whatever happened to “Girl Power?”  Women should want to empower one another.  That’s why I think we need to follow a Girl Code.