Think With Your Head, not With Your Heart

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When in a relationship, women often lead with their heart, not with their head.  They may know someone isn’t right for them, but if they like him, they will let their heart override their head.  On the other hand, men usually think with their big or little head, but not with their heart.

A woman’s intuition will often alert her to red flags in a relationship.  She may ignore her intuition and in the end, she’ll realize her uneasy feelings about a man were warranted.  Women who are smart in all aspects of their lives;  their career, their finances, etc., will still tend to make foolish choices when it comes to affairs of the heart.  Women will put on blinders or may think they can change a man to be who they want him to be.  This rarely works.  With men, what you see, is usually what you get.

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Signs There’s Trouble in Paradise

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Whether it’s the man or the woman, communication is the first thing to go downhill in a relationship that’s in trouble.  Intimacy is often affected as well.  The lack of interest in lovemaking is a sure sign that there’s trouble in paradise.  Sex may become routine, but no longer passionate or romantic.  If the couple isn’t married or living together, one of them will start to spend less time with the other.  A man will detach himself emotionally as well as physically when he wants out of the relationship.

A man will no longer have concern about your feelings or your interests.  He will alter his regular routine with you.  The things he used to do with you, or for you, he will no longer do.  Men will try to put space between the two of you, when he’s contemplating ending the relationship.  Men don’t like talking about how they feel so they’ll usually remain distant.  Most men will give obvious signals that he is losing his feeling for you.  He will hope that you get the message.

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What Do You Bring to the Table?

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In a job interview, the prospective employer is trying to find out what skills you have that would make you an asset to their company.  (what you bring to the table).   It’s the same principle in a relationship, only it’s more about financial means.

There used to be a time when only women would ask a man what he has to bring to the table;  if he has a job, what his profession is, how much money he makes, etc.  Nowadays, men ask women the same questions.  Everyone wants to know the other person has something to bring to the table to enhance their lifestyle.  It could financially or emotionally.  Most men are no longer willing to carry any dead weight.  Example:  a woman who has three children by another man, and no job.  A  man may feel she doesn’t have anything to contribute.

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The Lies Men Tell

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In a new relationship some men will lie about their intentions, as to whether they really want to be in a monogamous relationship.  They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear.  A man will take the chance at lying in order to continue seeing a woman he’s interested in at the time, knowing at some point she may find out his real intention.  He will hope that by the time she finds out the truth, she will be hooked on him and will not want to walk away from the relationship.

Men will also lie about their relationship status.  He may have a girlfriend, a booty call or a friend with benefits that he’s holding on to.  Men tend to lie about the reasons their past relationship ended as well.  Often they’ll say their girlfriend cheated on them, when they were the one who cheated.  They will feel you will have sympathy for them and think they are a nice guy.

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Foreplay = The “Big O”

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Foreplay starts long before you get to the bedroom.  It can begin in the kitchen, while cooking with just grabbing her butt or his.  Whispering dirty talk to each other during the day or sexting while at work or buying her flowers are also methods of foreplay.   Getting your man or woman aroused and anticipating intimacy long before it happens, can be a good build-up to the finale.

Being romantic;  kissing, touching and even dancing can be very sensual and arousing for both the man and the woman.  Foreplay is the appetizer before the main course.  It gets all the juices flowing.  The most time should be spent on awakening the senses (arousal).  Taking the time to explore your lover’s body from head to toe will definitely pay off to reaching the “Big O”.   It’s the same principle as preheating the oven before cooking the meal.  (LOL)

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What is Love

 

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Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.  It is an emotional bond between two people.  There are many types of love.   There’s romantic love, puppy love, self-love, passionate love and unconditional love.

Romantic Love is the courtship stage.  You spend quality time together, sharing romantic moments.  It’s when you are receiving flowers for no reason, gifts like jewelry and traveling to romantic getaways with the one you love.

Puppy Love is an infatuation, or having a crush on someone.   Young children and teenagers experience puppy love.   This type of love doesn’t last.

Self-Love is the most important love of all.  If you don’t love yourself, then it is difficult for someone else to love you.  Having self-esteem and loving yourself, will ensure that you put yourself first.   Self-love is good for your overall well-being.

Passionate Love is the intense sexual attraction for another person.  It is the longing and desire for intimacy with the one you love.   Passionate love doesn’t last, but the love itself can last.

Unconditional Love is the love we have for our children.  It has no conditions, restrictions or limitations placed upon it.  Unconditional love is a lasting love.  It’s the one type of love that is endless.

True love is an attachment to another person.  You sometimes hear someone say, “He or she is the love of my life.”  They mean they love them with all their heart, body and soul.  They could be referred to as “soul mates.”  No matter how much you love someone, you can’t make them love you, if they don’t.  There are other sayings like, “Money can’t buy you love, and Love doesn’t cost a thing.”

When you love someone, you want what’s best for them.  It is an unselfish act.  You are protective of them and care about their feelings and well-being.  You want to be with the one you love, all of the time.  You think  about them constantly.  It’s like an addiction.  “Love can make you do crazy things.”

Sometimes,  you can’t control who you love.  Even when they aren’t good for you.  Especially, if you don’t have self-love or self-esteem.  Many people are in love with the wrong person, that doesn’t deserve their love and the love isn’t reciprocated.  “You can’t help who you love.”

Being in love makes us happy, euphoric, confident and optimistic.   “All you need is love.”

“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

To love and be loved in return, is the greatest feeling in the world.

Winning at Love

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Communication is key to a loving relationship.  Talking and working out problems you encounter before they get too far out of control, and the communication between the two of you shuts down, is totally necessary in order to keep the relationship strong.

There must be mutual respect for one another.  Being respectful of the other person’s opinions and differences, and being able to agree to disagree is very important.

Trust is absolutely necessary in order to feel safe and secure when you have given your heart to someone to love and protect.

Keeping your individuality and not losing yourself in the relationship also key.  You must have interests of your own, aside from your loved one.  Making someone your whole world, will cause your loved one to feel that are needy and insecure.

Being spontaneous and unpredictable keeps excitement in the relationship.  All  relationships have a point when one or both people may begin to feel that the passion has subsided.  This can cause vulnerability and insecurity on either side.  You may feel that your man or woman doesn’t love you anymore.  This is a natural feeling.  It just means you have to work harder to bring back the sparks and try new things to keep the fires burning.  Monotony can cause boredom.

Intimacy is a major part of a loving relationship.  Love making bonds couples together keeping them close and connected to each other.  A lack of sex will ultimately cause problems in a relationship, possibly infidelity.

A man and a woman being totally committed to each other and to keeping their love strong, will lead to a successful and lasting union.  You can never take one’s love for granted. A loving relationship is something you will continuously have to work at, in order to keep it solid.