If you have been in a relationship for several years and have been constantly pressuring your man to “put a ring on it”, he may finally give you a ring just to shut you up. Your fiancé may want a three or more year engagement and won’t want to set a wedding date. An open engagement is typically requested by a man who has no intention of getting married (or getting married to you). The ring may only be a stall tactic to keep stringing you along and to appease you or to get you off his back. Two years is sufficient time to be engaged and to plan a wedding.
The best way to avoid getting a “shut up ring”, is not to live together for years, not to have the baby before the marriage and after two years of dating, if your man isn’t talking about a future with you, you should bring up the topic and be prepared to make some serious decisions as to how much longer you are willing to stay in the relationship without knowing whether or not there’s a future with him.
A “shut up engagement ring” that a man asks you to give back to him is more embarrassing and humiliating than never receiving a ring at all. I feel if you are given a ring under false pretenses, you should not give it back if your fiancé calls off the engagement. You deserve to keep the ring as retribution for the pain and suffering he has caused you.
A woman’s time is precious, don’t waste years with someone you have to pressure to marry you. Many women fall into this trap because they feel they have invested so many years of their lives with their man and they are willing to hang in there, year after year, hoping one day that he will want to marry her. It doesn’t take a man years to figure out that he wants to marry a woman. Sometimes a man will hold on to a woman until he meets the one that he wants to marry and settle down with. Some men have been known to do this and will marry that woman within a year.