Dating a mama’s boy can be challenging. You could easily get frustrated. If you are married to him, it’s probably worth trying to co-exist with his mother.
You can’t compete with his mother. She was his first love. If his mother makes him a mama’s boy, it is because she wants to control him and doesn’t want to let him go. She is afraid of losing him and of being replaced by you or taking second place to you. She want to be number one in his life. She is insecure with sharing his love with someone else, besides her. It’s a selfish behavior on her part. She will make him feel guilty if he is ever able, to say “no” to her.
Sometimes it starts when a woman doesn’t have a man in her life, she may give her son the power to be the man of the house. He likes having that role. She will make him dependent upon her. It’s her way of controlling him. It will also make him feel responsible for her. In a sense, he becomes her substitute for a man of her own (not incestuous). A mama’s boy will tend to seek his mama’s approval when making decisions. Constantly complaining about his mother, will only make him defend her more.
These are some things you can try, to release the hold that his mama has on him:
- You can help him find her a man of her own.
- You could assure her that she is gaining a daughter, not losing a son.
- Let him know she can’t provide all of his needs; he can’t sleep with his mama.
- Remind him of the biblical verses regarding putting your wife above all others.
- Tell him he needs to have a talk with his mother. (That’s his place, not yours unless she is being disrespectful towards you).
- Try to include her sometimes, but don’t waste your time trying to win her over.
On a positive note, if a man loves his mother, he is definitely capable of loving a woman. When a man doesn’t love his mother, it is very hard for him to love any woman.
A man should never be given an ultimatum to choose between his mother or you. It’s a strong hold that a mother has on her mama’s boy, that will take time for him to break free.
Don’t worry about how his mama feels about you. Once she realizes how much he loves you and she sees that you aren’t going anywhere, she will eventually accept you as number one in his life. As long as he loves YOU, that’s all that matters!